Monday, January 14, 2008

Choose the culprit : Sex Or Culture

This is the first time.. i m writing about something which doesn't deal with lively emotions or hysterical sequences based on pure fiction. This post is all about us, by us i do not mean teenagers but each and every member of the social community around us irrespective of caste,creed and most importantly sex .
So lets go down the lane and find some ground realities about what we all talk of most often i.e Sex.
I am sure on the fact that each and everybody reading this would have encountered such discussion in his lifetime but due to social ethics prevailing in some of the cultures around the globe,we at times discuss these stuff in closed rooms.

I"l say in rapidly changing environments, we have two villains. I"l talk on them one by one.
Lets Say, The first culprit is :

1)Sex :
First of all sex is not the right word about what i am actually referring to. I am instead talking of having an intercourse with a partner but in social terminology we mite refer it as "Sex" or "Love making".
By definition intercourse is a perfectly normal biological habit to reproduce. So i think by definition it is not a culprit. But we know that even in modern society of the larger part of the world we still have restrictions to use a word like "Sex" . If not a crime as per the laws, people just do not take it in the right spirit.
But then our biological system is governed not by social ethics or any civil laws. It has its own way of dealing with stuff. So as per biological standards, we all start to develop sexual needs starting from the age of 11 in males and 13 amidst females, process known as "we reaching puberty".
Suffering from hormonal changes, We all land up at a stage where we are in ultimate desire for what we commonly known as "Sex".
But here is the catch, in plain words (I m sure many of us won't like it).There are many who don't get to do it because of the social ethics surrounding them thereby suppressing what in fact is a "biological need".Here are some of the aftereffects of it :

a)How often do we see children trying to watch Porno's OR for the matter "adult channels".
b)How often do we see guys, frustrated at times because they say..."We don't get a chance to do it" whereas our counterparts in a more open environment are not suppressing the need.

Above facts are experienced by almost every human on the planet and rightly so they will always happen. So where is everything wrong. I"l tell you where they are wrong by giving some more insights.

The one trait discussed above amidst children/teenagers lead to a point where they start getting wrong information about the whole thing.The effect of the trait can be seen from this point only that when i googled "Sex" to get the definition. On the result page, i got only one correct answer and rest all adult sites which we all know cover 97% of the internet and is a billion $ industry in itself.
The point is "Humans will always satisfy there needs" but they forget in the process "Are they doing it in the right way or not". So a child will be satisfied after watching something but in the process he does not know that in the process most of the information he has gained is not completely true in many a cases and is just one more dollar added to revenue of the industry.
In a nutshell, It results into a child receiving bad information with the help of either the internet or some other way wherein he was required to be a dealt in a more proper way.

Now talking of the Second fact, Most of the teenagers in a closed community feel what i stated above i.e a feeling of frustration at times.
And since they are not "Children", they "Want even More". Resulting in even more bad consequences. From my personal experience, I have seen people of my age visiting brothels in order to have there needs satisfied, wherein everybody knows that there are serious threats of u getting affected by STDs(Sexually Transmitted Diseases) if u enter this "Dark World" of every community which also is a billion dollar industry as stated by Reuters.

Now what is the cause of it??? Is it "Sex is bad" or "Suppressing the need of doing it is???"
U can give it a thought while i"l give some insight on our second culprit i.e "Culture"

Culture :
By Culture, i mean the social ethics/standards that a people living in and around a community follow,even at times blindly.
How often do we say, "We are proud of our culture, We are a great nation". I think we all brag of it and in a way we all should be proud of it. But Since its a culture, it will have it negative shades as well.So lets have a look at them in the context we are presently discussing

1)India brags of being "Respectable to women in the society", Still we have nationwide record of rape cases and i must admit, as far as i know my country and the legal system, i can bet only a 10% of them are actually reported.
What is this for??? Is it a loophole in the system that people are not afraid of committing rapes. I"l say its more of our society that binds our activities that at times "people stop acting as humans and rather as animals, who when left alone and starved will not even regret to kill and hunt"
2)We treat "Kids as gods gift" to an extent that we suffer from outburst of population and say "God save us from It" and moreover in our society we refrain from even talking about "Intercourse/Sex" which is the process of producing "Kids" i.e God's Gift according to our society.
3) This fact is something i recently saw in a news article. According to Reuters, the average age of an indian having Sex is around 19 yrs, while in our country that brags of "Sex after marriage" is intself a myth, becoz the legal age of marriage is 18 nd 21 for females and males respectively.
A lot of that data contributes to child rapes etc etc and many such stuff.
Moreover People get beaten by the police for sitting holding hands in parks and sent to the lockup.Still we suffer from the evil, mayb because we dealing with it the wrong way.
Thers a sayin, "Harder u"l press the sponge, the harder it"l try to get out of ur hand". The same goes here.
4)We not only uproarin as a strong IT Nation but we are on the hitlist of nations sufferin from an epedemic known as "AIDS" thankx to the billion dollar industry that we can see in areas like Calcutta's red light area, which are partly thriving on teenagers just like u and me.
To make it more interesting, I Myself with million other teenagers who have not yet been told on "what is a condom" either by my teachers or my parents. All hail people who created internet that we all know "what are the consequences of not using protection"
5)Not only these, we are up on the list of nations having large number of child abuse cases reported.More and more unwanted pregnant ladies because the guy was afraid to ask for a condom from the vendor.

There are many a more facts which can be written here. But the point is What we are doing ???

Yeah.. We are doing.. Says the government who is trying to implement "Sex education" in primary schools but is able to implement in a handful of states only after about 5 years of struggle.
The problem not lies with the government but with the people. Teachers are refraining from teaching lessons. I"l say God help the country wherein educated people who should take a stand are the ones who take a step backward.

The problem won't be eradicated by "Ads on DoorDarshan" completely. It can be changed only if people start acting at root level.
Why can't we give our Kids some knowledge about the right and the wrong.
Why can't we understand that "That openess to things is not vulgarity" .For example :A bikini show is not vulgarity, deal it like fashion.

For me a person in his teenage, willing to have sex is perfectly normal, becoz his feelings are jus like a person "who has eyes, but u say u can see the world only after you are some age" . Its like supressing one of his urge forced by his/her body to do so.

With this i"l say.. we should slowly move towards "Openess" within the limits of preserving our ever blissfull culture. That way we can fight the above evils otherwise we"l go deeper and deeper into the sea strangled by our ethics only.

I Hope everybody would have thought of the culprit?? If yes, try to counter it in your life .

Cya. Have fun..

Thursday, January 10, 2008


Its been ages since i felt the urge to write something again. I can feel it becoz when i tried to complete my third e-buk during the winter break, i was nt able to come up with a single word which in turn shows that my ever wobbling mind din had ideas which i could i have put on paper.

This winter went on to b d best break i ever had after i joined for my grad dwn here in goa.Spendin time with my brother has always been refreshin. Another merry break was PS1 but then u can't call it a holiday becoz of a strict ps instructor who wont allow u many bunks.

Rite now i m thinking what should i write now...Basically a few thoughts flashed across me after a vision moments ago. I wont describe wat it was as its not neccsry for the readers of d blog.
So here it goes...

I m thinking about that how stubborn we are???

Yeah.. I think in a way or the other we all are just pushin things to reach out for the ultimate satisfaction in one way or the other. That satisfaction can be nething varying from gettin good grades or being a social hype in and aroun the community livin aroun us.
We want to "WIN" everythin aroun us so badly that we start hating the slightest possibility of falling off from the cliff. We dont like it when ppl claim that "they are better then us" or if its on a higher side we all don't like it when ppl say to u "U Can't do it". I myself don't like it when ppl say to me about nething that i can't do. Its in a way ur positive approach towards achieving ur goals but i"l say its stubborness to implement it in every prospect of life.
In this busy but idle life of ours, we all in a way want to win everythin aroun us and at the cost of everything. sometimes even at the cost of money and at times at the cost of ur self respect becoz achievin something superseeds even u and wat u r.
But all along the way , we all should try to find things that are not important to achieve and still should be satisfied with the consequences.

After some years of experience of sufferin from the above mentioned , i m tryin to cope with my stubborness that there are mane a things in life which u can't convert to goals leave apart achievin dem and u always can't be a winner becoz there was no race involved in the process & yeah u can't be called a looser too fr d same reason. Its jus that u have to start living life not as a race but as a sightseeing trip where u meet different people, experience different emotions & try to get the most of ur life. By sayin "the most" its not communal profit , its enjoyment becoz that"l be d onle thing u can take along with you.

I Won't say i hv left my stubborness but i"l say its better to cushion it , so i m in d process of doin d same.

Hope everybdy aroun us do d same & it"l b a nice place to live den